This is the story of Me. Who am I? Well, currently I am a graduate student in my last year of grad school in New York City. After a lot of thinking and rethinking and then some overthinking I finally decided to write my first blog post. Like a couple of other times in my life, instances of which I will give you in the future, I decided to “just go for it”.
For many of the people who might be reading this blog, the one’s who have known me from before, during and after my tipping point(s), might be able to see a relatable difference.
So why am I here, sharing my story? As much as it hurts me to acknowledge, I am a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse. You read that right! For many years now I have been afraid that if people knew they might not like me…as you can imagine, I deal with some issues that I always thought people would leave me because of, or stop hanging out with me because of. I used to think I was abnormal and felt ashamed but most of all I was scared of being deemed a liar.
Fortunate for me, a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, I have it in my nature to be impulsive. I no longer look at this as a weakness, but instead I have decided to wear my diagnosis on my sleeve and own it!
One can say that this is my tipping point, this very first blog post. You might be wondering what I mean when I say “tipping point”. By definition, a tipping point is the point at which a series of small changes or incidents becomes significant enough to cause a larger, more important change. I think a person can have more than one tipping point during their lifetime, I also think that tipping points, too, are the tipping points for new tipping points. You can imagine it to be like the snowball effect or the butterfly effect, but with intervals.
Now that I look back in time, I think my very first tipping point is not the time I realized that I had been sexually abused, but the time I shared my story with the very first person in my life. On that day, without even realizing it, I had changed my life forever.
Just to be clear, I decided to write this blog because I believe I have found my purpose. After so many years of silent anger and pain, I realized that I want to help fellow survivors and let you’ll know, whoever or wherever you might be, that you are not alone! You matter! There are people who love you and who want you, there are people who care.
Take a chance, let your life’s tipping point(s) take it’s course. Every day I fight and have been fighting. I tell myself to take every day as it comes, and here I am, a 23 year old warrior in New York City!